stuff.

i have some things that i'm going to do. as soon as the weather permits so. i want to talk about them. because if i put them in writing, then i have to do them. so here is number one.

canoe across utah lake.

the first problem with this is, i only have a blow up canoe. i love it so much, but i don't feel confident enough to take that across, i think i value my life a little more than that, just a little. then i found a solution. i was driving around, and then i saw a canoe in someones backyard. it seems pretty deserted. so i was thinking, what if i just took it? let me finish. what if i just took it, in the cover of the night, used it to conquer the lake, and then returned it with like such a happy note and maybe like... some treats? some baked goods? or like some sort of gift? do you think that would be ok? i do. the problem is i'm like always on workavoidingdrives and i can't remember where i saw this canoe at. i'm sure i could find it again though. also the old man across the street has a canoe i'm pretty sure actually, maybe i could ask him if i could borrow it. that seems a little bit more civilized, plus it's the least he can do since i helped him shuck about five hundred ears of corn for some like weird block party thing once. but that plan sounds not as fun, and he is weird.

i don't want you guys to worry about it. because i have a golden compass, and i think that's all i really need. life jackets will be involved, yeah sure, and i'll choose the least windiest day. because utah lake gets so crazy in the wind. and it'll smash me into... the... rocks. and i'll make someone come with me. any of you want to?

utah lake, prepare yourself.

mad

for the past...week and a half? two weeks? i've had this one eyelash, that sticks straight out. it was insanely annoying, poking my eye and getting all caught and stuck, so every time i saw myself in a mirror, i would try a couple times to rip it out. unsuccessful, for two weeks. just barely, i tried it again. this time i ripped out six, i counted them. of my good eylashes. at once. you can imagine my frustration, it only took one more try after that, and i ripped that stupid eyelash right out.

i learned something about myself in that moment.

i just realized statement day is tomorrow. support your local file clerk. death.