wisdom=gone

yesterday i lost all my wisdom in the form of a gray haired man who spoke too calmly and quickly for me to want to stay calm, ripping out four fairly large teeth in the far depths of my mouth. since then i have found myself doing very unwise things, like talking to strangers, accepting candy from odd men, using the sink as a toilet, watching mary kate and ashley movies, and handing small children scissors and telling them to ran fast as they can. yes yes we all love the wisdom teeth jokes. i must've been pretty damn smart though because my mouth is pretty unhappy about the loss and is mourning in ways like making my cheeks swell up to the point where people must think i'm storing stuff in there for the upcoming winter, and screaming in pain making me beg my mom for two tabs. there were some perks thats for sure, like i got to wear a really neat shower cap thing, and i got to get put to sleep, which is the BEST. all i remember when i woke up was everyone telling to me just breathe my oxygen and stop opening my mouth but neither of those were an option because i felt like there was just too much to say and i was smart enough at the time to know that breathing the oxygen would make me come down quicker, nope not an option. i had a surprising and unexpected experience last night, i threw up of course! im pretty sure that if the helicopters putting out the fire on maple mountain hung me from them i would've for sure put it out because i was spewing like a fire hose, sorry for those of you with weak stomachs. i will tell you a story if you dont mind hearing the word bloody, haha ali here it is- right when i got home i needed some water real bad, my chin tongue and lip were completely numb and i was convinced that i was drinking it all until my mom walked in, anna!! i looked down and saw a puddle of bloody water on my blanket, i looked on my shirt and saw it covered bloody water, and then i went in the bathroom and looked at my face and it was dripping with bloody water. it was pretty funny. 

i then had the joy of visiting the orthodontist today to add some more metal to the metal fence that has constricted my teeth for three years. what i thought would be a horrible experience turned into only ten minutes of minor suffering. i love all my friends you guys are so sweet

i'll include this picture just for your entertainment and for the fact that i know it is not permanent and hopefully you'll still love me. thank goodness for the pills. and you guys, if you're looking for advice, probably don't put me at the top of your list, remember im freeking stoopid.